GRAPHIC DESIGNERS AND WEDDING PROGRAMMES

Being a chorister in a church that holds a wedding almost every other Saturday means that I have seen countless wedding programmes. If I did not see yours, then it was either I was not present or you did not print any.

I have seen wedding programmes designed like fans, scrolls, butterflies and other amazing designs that make you feel like having a wedding if you are not yet married or even having another one if you already have.

But in the midst of all these splendor and spectacle lies one thing that can turn it all into one big joke and this is the grammatical blunder some wedding programmes present- thanks to graphic designers.

Below are some stolen shots from a few of these wedding programmes. As usual VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

EXCHANGE OF VOWELS instead of
EXCHANGE OF VOWS 

PICH BOYS instead of PAGE BOYS

WALL DROP instead of WARDROBE

You might be tempted to blame the couple for not supervising these graphic designers but believe you me, after being part of the organizers of my three sisters’ separate weddings, I have come to realize that this is bound to happen when there is so many more important things to be done within a short time.

If you are reading this and you are planning to get married soon, I would advise that you keep an eye on your graphic designer else (s)he will either misspell your name or instead of typing; 

1 John 4:18 that says “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear; because fear has torment. He that fears is not made perfect in love", he will type 

John 4:18 that reads, "…For you have had five husbands, and he whom you now have is not your husband…”

I can’t wait to steal a picture of you when this happens.

MISUSE OF TREATED BED NETS

Malaria, caused by the female anopheles mosquito through bites, is ranked one of the top five diseases that claim lots of lives in Africa day in and day out.

Many governmental and non- governmental organizations, as part of their efforts to help prevent the spread of this deadly disease, spend a great deal of money on anti malaria activities such as the free distribution of treated bed nets.

But it is discouraging to note that despite the countless campaigns on radio, television, print, outdoor and other media, some people seem not to care about getting malaria and therefore misuse the mosquito nets that are distributed to them.

I happen to be in a community (exact location withheld) and below are the shots I stole to prove that indeed people misuse treated nets.

TREATED NET BEING USED  AS FENCE

 TREATED  BED NET BEING USED  AS FENCE 

If my sight and ability to count are accurate then the owner of this backyard farm is using not less than five mosquito nets to cover the plants from presumably domestic animals and maybe mosquitoes.

Even though this farmer might have found the nets on the refuse dump, the good conditions of the nets suggest the attitude of its previous owner towards Malaria and its prevention.

The question is; could these nets not have been passed on? 

Malaria is deadly and even though our climate sometimes makes it difficult   to sleep under treated nets, it is one of the less expensive yet highly efficient ways of preventing Malaria.

I have heard about other people who use mosquito nets for fishing, trapping domestic animals and other non- malaria prevention activities. If you are one of them, do not think I will not find you and steal a shot of you in the act. Even if I do not,  Miss Anopheles Mosquito will definitely find you.

TLMs;TEACHING AND LEARNING MATERIALS OR TEACHING AND LEARNING OF MISTAKES?

Teaching and Learning Materials (TLMs) have and continue to play a vital role in the Teaching and Learning Process (TLP) especially at the nursery, kindergarten and primary school levels of education.

These, especially the visual aids which include actual objects, models, flash cards, charts, maps and pictures make classrooms lively, clarify the subject under study and also enhance the vocabulary of pupils.

A type of visual aid that almost every nursery, kindergarten and primary school  can boast of is the illustration on school and classroom walls, most common of which are  the “A” is for Apple and the action verbs kind of illustrations.

However, the humorous but unfortunate side of TLMs is that some of them, instead of helping the pupils get a firm grasp of the Queen’s language rather corrupt the few correct phrases they have learnt,since they( the TLMs) are full of grammatical errors.

A classroom of a primary school in the Central Region (precise town and school withheld) in which i slept during a church conference in July last year had  the following  illustrations on the walls.

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PICTURES CONTAIN GRAMMATICAL CONSTRUCTIONS THAT CAN BE HARMFUL TO YOUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

A BERTHERFLY instead of  A BUTTERFLY

A SCHOOL UNIFORMS instead of SCHOOL UNIFORMS

THE CHILD HAS SLEEP instead of   THE CHILD IS ASLEEP 

A TRACTER instead of  A TRACTOR

The questions I asked myself after stealing these shots and I know you are probably asking yourself now are that; have the teachers seen these mistakes and if yes! what are they doing about them?

Since the school was on vacation and my role in the  the church event  did not give me enough time to probe, these questions remain unanswered. 

I will definitely pay a planned but surprise visit to the school to get the answers to these questions; whether the writings on the walls are still there or not.

But until then, if you need an illustrator, please do not hesitate to let me know, because this illustrator left his phone number on one of the classroom walls.

THE ILLUSTRATOR'S AUTOGRAPH AND CONTACT